im drinking this country out of the recession.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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