Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
