We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
