We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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