The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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