Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
