The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
