True but thats because hes a fetus.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
