I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
