after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
