I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
