Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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