wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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