That's intense
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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