just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
