i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
