they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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