You smell like stripper and shame
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
