from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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