forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
