So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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