You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
