I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
