I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm getting married
To pizza
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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