Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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