They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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