the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
