Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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