So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My vagina is officially offended.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
