Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
