Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
