don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
