Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
