So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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