in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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