I looked at my own cervix.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
