So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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