**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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