There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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