I could make wine with my vomit
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
