just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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