He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
