Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
