We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
