I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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