Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
