Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
