dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she peed on how many people?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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