sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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