You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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